No-bake cocoa oatmeal cookies (V, GF)
Last Sunday morning, I woke up hungry and nostalgic. I can’t tell you why exactly, but I was craving some chocolate oatmeal cookies I remembered my mom making when my sisters and I were kids. Funny, I couldn’t recall a specific moment, or even really remember what they looked like, but the flavor…memories those tasty morsels swept over me with a pure sort of intensity that had to be satisfied.
I would have called my mom for the recipe, but I had a feeling that the cookies of my childhood were not going to be suitable for breakfast. (Side note, I did call later, and confirmed that no, they were not. They were, however, just three ingredients, and most certainly versatile, so do feel free to play with peanut butter, oats and melted chocolate to your heart’s content when feeling decadent.) Instead, I coerced Chef F to make some edible play dough with me, and yum! A winner resulted.
These aren't the prettiest, and Chef F says they look a bit like little animal poops. Yet--that description wasn't enough to put him off eating and enjoying them (nor did it deter Dave). Plus, they're healthy bites in the context of treats, truly tasty, and no-bake! We used whole oats, sun butter, cocoa powder, a smidgen apple juice, and some homemade date paste. Chef F added a little dollop of maple syrup in his mixture, and I’ll admit his yields were that bit more compelling, but just a bit.
Now, here is where you jump ahead to the recipe—unless you are in the mood for a little random pensiveness. Can we chat about nostalgia for a moment? Because while the concept is one to which we can all relate, nostalgia during a pandemic is as multi-dimensional as everything else these days. It can come suddenly, crashing like a tidal wave, or creep up with a shadowy softness, leaving a wisp behind by the time you know it was there. It can ache with the kind of pain that is in between joy and sorrow, with traces of both love and longing. In normal times, it can grant you wisdom and gratitude. These days, more likely it will bowl you over in observance of complex feelings without the bandwidth to process them.
During this particular deluge, Chef F and I consumed no-bake cookie bites while Chef F was simultaneously consumed by eager Lego creating and inspired designing, and I watched in awe. My mood being wistful as it was, I began thinking back to my own childhood, wondering, was I ever this passionate? Did I have this sparkle? Can I reach it, still? Adulting isn’t easy, even when buoyed by love and thankfulness. That morning I went down the all-too-familiar rabbit hole of being overly hard on myself for the things I didn’t do, many years ago through now. I could go on for tomes about where that mental journey led me, but the important thing to share is this: I grasped onto a quick trick to pull myself back. The best part is, you already know what it is. Forgiveness.
I’ve been practicing self-forgiveness a lot lately. It may seem trite—a life hack, even, but it’s important. We are all wading through individual, but straining, circumstances, in our own ways. We need to be gentle with ourselves. We need to trust in our resilience.
Today, I am trying to forgive myself for the things I have not accomplished, though I wanted to. I forgive myself for not managing to be 100% engaged in everything, all of the time. I forgive myself for feeling like I might give up on myself. Because, forgiving myself for energy and fortune I haven’t been able to muster does not equate to complacency. It is instead confirmation that we care enough to keep trying our best. Even when there is the greatest self-doubt, self-forgiveness is a gentle step toward self-belief.
Since I am rambling and tired, this is where we circle back to cookies, but you know what? I think it might be best if I deviate from that plan, this time. If you are here reading, you have patience enough to know we’re past cookies. And I want to thank you for your time and kindness, and send you back some love, cookie-shaped. Give some to your inner child for me. xo
No-bake cocoa oatmeal cookies
2 cups whole oats
3/4 cups almond, peanut, or sun butter
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1/4 cup orange juice, apple juice, or water
1/2 cup date paste (blend 1/4 cup water per 1 cup packed dates to make)
*optional for added sweetness but not needed, 2-3 T maple syrup or other liquid sweetener
Mix all in a bowl and work with your fingers to combine (will feel like kneading). Form into cookie shapes, or just leave as cookie dough, because who doesn't like dipping into that?